6 years of hiding it all
Never thought much about you when we first met. Just thought that you were crazy and so bloody noisy and irritating. We became friends when I called you up one fine day because I was feeling like really lousy.You picked me up slowly with all your words of encouragement. It was amazing how the tone of your voice soothe me. I could sit there all day just listening to you talk.
We got closer day by day. At times I would get really irritated with you because you and your bunch were not taking rehearsals seriously and were making everything out to be a joke. I would fight to be serious but after a while, I gave in and decided that if you can't beat them, join them.
That was a decision that I never regretted. It brought us all closer together and I have to admit that rehearsing a play your way is better then my way. You would always say "Relax ah", which is true. Not everything in life has to be taken seriously.
By the second production, I knew that that was when i was in trouble. I noticed myself taking more interest in the things you do, watching the way you work, laughing at all the jokes you made. You were always singing whereever you go. If you were not cracking silly jokes, you were singing.
That night, I saw you pull her onto your lap. I watched behind the curtains, refusing to believe it. Why were you guys so close? Then she finally told me one day that you guys were secretly attached. I accepted it because she is a darling friend and I loved her a lot. So I let it go..
But feelings kept resurfacing, everytime we were hanging out, everytime you sang to me, everytime you called me.
After a while, you started to have quarrels and disagreements with each other. There were so many external factors that were affecting your relationship that you wish you could just push away.
You would call me late at night and tell me how you felt. You never knew how many times I cried over the phone just listening to how hurt you were. I always told you," I want you to be happy. I don't like to see you upset cos it makes me really sad too." I would do anything just to see you smile.
You loved her so much that you wanted to take her to concerts and nice places, eventhough you didnt have the budget for it. I would loan you whatever you needed, even if it meant that I had none for myself. Anything that would make you happy.
The last straw was when we had to act opposite each other. I could never fully concentrate and look deep into your eyes because I was afraid that you would know how I feel. Every waking hour, every single rehearsal was torture. When we kissed, I was in total shock. I was so afraid that I would forget my lines. I would never forget the feeling of your lips on mine. So soft and tender...
posted by Janice Julandria @ 3:36 AM
1 Comments:
Sigh... WHAT ABOUT ME?????
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